It's St. Patrick's Day and the green beer, Guinness and Jameson will surely be flowin'. But alas, it is a Tuesday, which means most of us have to work tomorrow morning, and everyone knows work with a hangover is pretty much Hell on earth. To help us out, we asked a whole bunch of bands to give us their best hangover cures. From the Mowgli's
and Youngblood Hawke
to Frank Iero
and the Relapse Symphony
, below are some of the best tricks in the trade, told by some of the best drinkers in the world—musicians.
"To whom it may concern,
Many of you plan on heading out this St Patrick's day and pub crawling your dignity into extinction. However, St. Patrick's day falls in the middle of the week this year and you may be in need of a quick fix to snap back into reality by the next morning. Fear not! for I have just the thing: Zeus Juice! What is Zeus Juice you may ask? Why, it's the nectar of the gods of course. Follow this recipe to a T, and you will be right as reign(in blood) before you know it.
1 cup pepto bismol
3 raw oysters
2 strands of 1980's Oakland Athletics left fielder Rickey Henderson's armpit hair
1 VHS copy of Home Alone
pour into blender and mix
Sanka instant coffee (whole package)
2 8oz packages of Philadelphia cream cheese
now Whisper the name of your favorite Thundercat into the top of the open blender
pulse blender. pulse again.
When the Zeus Juice is finally complete immediately throw it away and order a pizza. Happy St. Party's Everyone! May god have mercy on your livers. xofrnk"
"Two shots of Jameson and you're right back where you started, guaranteed. Feelin' like you could run for president or successfully perform surgery." — Colin Louis Dieden (vocals/guitar/percussion)
"The best hangover cure has got to be a healthy party attitude, if you pitch it just right (and this happens once in a blue moon) you have drank the perfect amount that when you wake up you still have a buzz on. After that either get up grab a glass bottle of Irn Bru and drink it whilst having a sit down shower or just get the tunes back on and grab another beer." — Ross Leighton (guitar/vocals)
"In Denmark we drink our cure! Wake up and have a Mead Beer and this time drink it with some water so you don't get another hangover the next day. If you want to make yourself puke then have a 'Snaps' which is a small shot of akavit." — David Boyd (vocals)
THE RELAPSE SYMPHONY
"When it comes to hangovers, I'm no stranger to danger. When I say "Hangover" I don't mean the glorified, hilarious Zach Galifianakis kind. I mean the 'Holy shit, I'm an idiot, who is this next to me and where the hell is my phone?' kind. So, what's the cure? Besides the fact that there really isn't one—you're dehydrated and all you can do is pop like, ninety Advil, cry and drink a shit ton of water—I'll tell you what I like to do! Step 1: After you find your phone and quickly go through all the stupid texts you sent (or just delete without looking like I do), find the booze you were drinking and gulp down another swig or two, or five. Hair of the dog, everyone knows that, nerd. Step 2: Eat. Get something on your stomach. Unless you're new to this or just stupid, you'll get pizza the night before. It's a great idea to go after the leftovers. Step 3: Again, Water. I know it sucks, it really, really sucks but, your body is made of the shit and you peed it all out so, replace it. Step 4: Man up, throw up if you have to, send a picture of it to your best friend and go back to bed, wake up and do it again but, worse. That my friends, is my best advice. Stay safe this St. Paddy's Day, and have a killer time!" — Your brother in alcohol, Bret Von Dehl (vocals)
“Three Advil and a bottle of water before you go to bed (if you can remember), and more alcohol for breakfast. That’ll do the trick.”
"Well the way we see it there's really only two methods that can kill that awful St. Paddy's day hangover. Both of them will work, and it really just depends on what kind of mood you're in!
"So first, whenever I'm feeling like my heads stuck in a vice I like to take a good hard look in the mirror and sternly tell myself that I need to be a better man. That's the first step. Go on.. Try it—even if you're a woman just do it, scold yourself and give that face a reminder that you gotta toughen up. Then throw on your running shoes because you're headed to the treadmill. Don't think about it too much, just get on it. It's going to suck. A lot. But you don't need to put in a full marathon, keep under 45 minutes and just sweat it out. When you're done, grab a banana and a red gatorade and 4 IB's and then demolish them all. After that, lay down next to a fan and try to fall asleep for one hour. When you wake up you won't ever know you were even partying! This is our preferred metho,d but if you can't find the supplies there is one other cure.
"This next option is for the adventurers. It takes one simple ingredient—a bottle of whiskey. Just hold your nose and put down three shots as fast as you can. Wait about 6-7 minutes and then thank Highly Suspect for the insanely effective advice!
Happy St. Patricks!" — Johnny , Ryan and Rich, pro-celebrators
"My hangover cure it pretty easy... Keep it greasy. After a hard day of drinking I usually consume about 3,000-10,000 calories of the following...Cheeseburgers, fries, burritos, tacos, onion rings-anything terrible for you thats fattening and greasy. That and water! Oh, and don't leave your bed all day. That helps too." — Sam Martin (vocals, key)
"The first step of curing a hangover is pooping (you want to get everything out of your body)
The 2nd step of curing a hangover is a glass of orange juice (Vitamin C) and coffee (caffeine)
The 3rd step is all of the water in the world (hydration is key)
The 4th step of the hangover cure is eating food (absorb any remaining alcohol)
The 5th step is praying that the first 4 steps work" — Richard Rogers (vocals, guitar)